12 May 2008


CANOPY

Am not on earth...
Pains r in acute dearth
Having d extreme elation
It z not just d absence of depression


I audibly utter
Sometimes I silently Mutter
Sometimes my heart goes indistinct
And my mind impedes n get extinct


The only time it all rest
is when I sleep at my best
Protecting myself with bullet-proof
Bullets begin d thoughts aloof


Riding on a golden horse
with Unicorn's vital force
To reach a destiny of peace
Where I always cease


He shone bright that day
The Helios, in d month of may
"Vividly u act, with promising face "
He says, "But, u r still in d unsolved maze"


I see leaves falling from d trees
They stand undressed in d freeze
Expelling my leafy breathe
Being in an agitated emotional seethe


On a rainy day, Near d window, I sit
A silver raindrop grows n quits
They r d Aliens falling from sky
On d soil, like my thoughts, they just die


Gardens full of emerging bud
Roses in Pink, yellow n red
Expecting my thoughts to egress
like d lunar after d eclipse


Thinking, why my thoughts change with seasons
With no affirm reason
Have i found a Permanent canopy ?

-------------

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* Rhyme Scheme : aabb

* Metaphors :
1/ Bullets begin d thoughts aloof
2/ my leafy breathe
3/ silver raindrop
4/ They r d Aliens
5/ like my thoughts
6/ like d lunar after d eclipse

* PUN :
Unicorn -
1/ Unicorn is a horse... Since the author's thoughts are riding on the horse... in the next line, she says it as a unicorn
2/ Unicorn is a Imaginary begin ... She indicates the journey on the horse is imaginary.
They r d Aliens falling from sky -

Here the Aliens is referred to the raindrops from the SKY, as they don't belong to the earth/soil
She also says the thoughts that are new within her made her an ALIEN on the Soil/earth

* IRONY :
-my mind impedes n get extinct

1/ The author says that her mind impedes which means it is considered as a SOLID or something that blocks
2/ Immediately, she says that her mind got extinct. It means nothing is there blocking her
This Irony intends the chaos in the author's mind
-In the Para 7 and 8, the author uses a explicit Irony.
1/ In Para 7, she says her thoughts die in soil
2/ In Para 8, She says her thoughts egress like moon from eclipse.

NOTE :

* The Author explains how she feels in all the 4 season, by describing them implicitly.
* In the poem, the author leaves the cause of the chaos in her mind unexplained. It is a classic touch she uses for the readers to complete. Since she uses rhyme scheme 'aabb', she expects the readers to fill in the last line which ends with a word that rhymes with "CANOPY"

And much more unexplained figures of Speech hidden... Can you find any more ???

PS : The author is none other than ME :0)

Cheers......

7 Comments:

At May 12, 2008 12:53 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

u can use end with one of these.

1. or im just a fly on a apple pie
2. no im just under the sky

hehehe...

-Raju

 
At May 12, 2008 5:04 pm , Blogger Unknown said...

Kalakurae sangee... as usual.. ;-)

 
At May 13, 2008 7:03 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

amazing yaar...........

 
At May 14, 2008 6:34 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur poem really sounds awsom and the rhym formed is really fabulous but belive me I am very poor in forming the rhyms ........ so probably it will take me a day to form a rhyme which matches your creation..............................

really superb work done...........

-- Prasad Kamath

 
At May 19, 2008 12:26 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing gets into my head as rhythmic as Canopy so couldn't fill in the last line. Even I'm not sure why the author's feeling differs upon seasons.

I have two different thoughts for her erratic expression.

1. The author is dead and these are just a sequence of events her soul undergoes. [Since the poem starts with "Am not on earth" and ends with "permanent canopy"]

2. From the structure of the poem, the author feelings expressed
in the first two lines are always contradicted by the last lines. Similarly in this paragraph, the author feels glad of having found a refuge or a permanent shelter, but it should be an illusion and she had found only a temporary place to rest.

- Sathish Gopalakrishnan

 
At May 23, 2008 6:04 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking, why my thoughts change with seasons
With no affirm reason
Have i found a Permanent canopy ?
.............
Yes !!is wat i heared somebody

May b, he also thinks about the season,
Which weathers without a Reason...
blowing wind across his face,
saying byee with loet of grace...

He also has a lot to say,
mind-id is what every1 says...
So the wonderful season is going,
we had so much fun & wud b missing...


was thinkg of some more.. but thought.. tht it might take away the grace....

I hope . u like it...


--- Arvind Jain

 
At June 13, 2008 10:58 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey kewl work girlie...wordsworth ah ye minjita po.....

Hey its really awesome.....emotions ah ellam oru paataaa vadichirukka
pola.....

Gud play on words dear...kudos......

Nithya

 

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